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the icecream van is here - it must be spring!!IMT

Skrivet av CM
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Svar på tråden: the icecream van is here - it must be spring!!IMT

Speaking of icecream...

Skrivet av  anette
Lovely weather has now turned in to snow and I really thought, more like wishful thinking, that spring was on it"s way...
We"ve had a really hard weekend, so far, kids were"nt at childminders on friday, and it"s Saturdaynight and I"m already exhousted and feeling guilty for finding it hard to look after my own kids! And does any one ever find it hard to work fulltime have the kids after work, spend quality time with them and do all house work? I do. If I"m not spending time with my sweet children, I feel guilty ´cause the house a mess and so on...
I asked Paul about the swedish women/english men and the "best thing" he could come up with was "english women are neurotic, swedish men are square", wich of course isn"t true, but i think you, CM, is probably on the right track and not to be "flamed" as I think language skills/communication is greater in women. Probably a biological thing, but correct me if I"m wrong! Now, I"m going to go and collapse on the sofa...
Nice weekend, everybody!
 

heh heh...

Skrivet av  CM
...yes, it"s snowing here too but it was a nice thought while it lasted.

as for being a worn out working parent, i think you most definitely are not alone. (you and me make two, at least ;-)). the best advice i can give you is to try not to worry too much about "quality time". time with your kids is important, of course, but my firm belief is that to kids, being with you when you"re doing what you have to do (joining in, if at all possible) and seeing you the way you are, tired and all, is just as much quality as anything we imagine. at least that"s what i tell myself... easier said than done, when everyones getting ratty, i know.

and now for a non-PC comment about women and men... one thing that has struck me is that in comparison to some other nationalities, the average swedish woman appears to be a bit more in touch with her male side... this is a gross generalisation, but if there"s any truth in it, it might stem from the fact that swedes tend to encourage boys and girls to mix quite a lot from an early age. could there be a clue in that? just speculating, don"t mean to upset anyone!
 

Mixed schools

Skrivet av  Helena
are according to me important. Because I do belive that boys and girls "learn" to be around eachother and become friends..not that kids who doesnt go to mixed schools have greater difficulties in this, but.. Maybe Im wrong.....I dont know.
I havent asked Adam yet about why he choose to be with a swede and he is in London at the moment but I will ask when he gets back.
But now its bedtime since Im exhausted.
Anette, I logged off after writing that day when we were on at the same time(almost) so thats why I didnt answer your hello.


 

definitely, and...

Skrivet av  CM
...i can sometimes feel a bit alarmed at the great emphasis on boy/girl differences that are made here, in terms of clothes, toys etc... i"ve even found myself wondering, having bought a pair of red trousers for my baby son, whether people will think he looks "girly"... and it seems unthinkable to many people that you could buy a boy toys like pretend-household equipment, never mind dolls! bedtime for me too now!
 

Oh yes,

Skrivet av  Leena
I agree that in the UK girls and boys are separated when it comes to clothes, toys etc - Action Man for boys and Barbie for girls. I"m suffering the consequences with my 5 year old daughter at the moment. She won"t wear navy or black because they"re boys" colours. Not easy when most school uniforms are in those colours. And they are so much more practical with all the mud around here. I also feel many clothes for little girls are far too "sexy" and just miniature copies of womens fashion. Maybe the trend is the same in Sweden but when I look at the H&M website at least, their girl clothes are different and more practical from what you get here. William, almost 2, on the other hand completely ignores all the cars and trains he"s got but is very good with the vacuum cleaner and a duster (he"s getting a little cleaning trolley for his birthday, bless him) and is happy playing with Anna"s jewellery and dressing-up clothes. I think it"s sweet and fun but I"ve had som comments re. his sexuality would you believe it, jokey ones but even so. It"s one of the many reasons I don"t want to bring my children up here. Another reason is having to pay £405 a month for child care 3 days a week (nursery for William and after-school/school holiday child minder for Anna) and that"s probably cheap compared to other places as the cost of living is cheaper in Corby than the surrounding towns (ex steel-work town). It makes me cross when I know the most I would pay at home is 3 500 kr/month (maxtaxa) regardless of number of children and hours.
Anette, join the club! I think the word guilt is written on my forehead. Guilty that I enjoy working and having my own income, guilty when I have to do housework and run a lot of errands on my days off when I should spend all my time with William, guilty when I come in from work and want time to myself etc, etc. I think it"s a sign of the times.
Better start cleaning upstairs, Les has taken the children swimming so I can spend some quality time with my vacuum cleaner!
 

"Maxtaxa"

Skrivet av  Helena
It will change in Sweden 2002. The max you will pay for childcare here will be 1200 Kr 2002. Im quite happy about that I must say. My husbands brother and his girlfriend (they live in Bushey, Herts) were recently looking around for daycare for their son. 5 days a week was going to be around £700 a month. They cant afford that. But luckily her mother will now care for the boy 2 days a week and his mother 2 days a week.
Regarding red on boys, my little Oliver looks great in red and I love dressing him in that. But here in Sweden I think this blue for boys and pink for girls is disappering. In the shops they now have blue and red for both. But a lot of shops have followed the trend with dressing girls in "miniadultclothes". Though H&M is still OK.
 

Sounds good!

Skrivet av  Leena
But I wonder if it will be the same amount everywhere. The way I understood it was that each "kommun" sets its own "maxtaxa" according to how well of it is. Will that still be the case, do you think? What is the max. people pay in Stockholm at the moment?
I"m glad Sweden is going more unisex when it comes to children"s clothes. When I had Anna here 5 years ago I was almost expected to dress her in pinks and frills and it"s still not uncommon to see little girls in dresses and kneehigh socks in the middle of winter. So I bought quite a few boys clothes for her "cause it was so much more practical and comfortable for her to play in. Try crawling in a dress!
 

private vs public childcare

Skrivet av  CM
yes, i certainly agree that childcare is hideously expensive here and therefore, sadly, not a realistic option for many. (a threat to equality, since it still tends to be women rather than men who stay at home in such a situation). i feel that the local government here should perhaps contribute towards the fees, not only for those who are in the very low earnings brackets.

but the problem i have with the swedish system, is that i worry about the quality of childcare given the limited funds of local government. admittedly i know very little about the situation at swedish nurseries these days, so i might be talking out of my bottom here. but i get the impression that the shortage of funding leads to a lot of problems in creating "good" nurseries.

my nursery here in sheffield is pricey, and i am very lucky to be able to afford it. but it is fantastic - a low children:staff ratio, excellent resources and as they are generously staffed they are able to satisfy virtually every requirement i have for example with regards to my son"s feeding and sleeping routines. my son has his own primary carer, who finds time to spend probably on average 1.5 hours with me alone each week, just to discuss my sons development and needs.

perhaps this is just the same old problem again - a free market gives a lot of choice and good facilities, but only the fortunate ones who can afford it!
 

maxtaxa

Skrivet av  Cattis
The limit of the "maxtaxa" will be the same in every "kommun". However, the "kommun" has the right to decide not to apply "maxtaxa" at all, which means that they miss out on money from the state, but on the other hand they get to set their own fees for childcare.
 

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