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Moving back to Sweden - help! |
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| Skrivet av | Leena in Northants, England |
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Hello all, I"ve had enough of the UK and am going to drag my British husband and two children back to Sweden! Problem is I"ve been here for almost 13 years and it feels like moving to totally strange country. If there"s anybody out there who has been through the same and would like to share their experiences I would be so grateful. For example - what removal company did you use and was it horribly expensive, how did the children settle (ours are 5 and almost 2 and don"t speak much Swedish, nor does my husband), how do you go about Swedish language lessons, can you bring your right hand steered car to Sweden etc. Please help! I"ve been offered a job as a radiographer back home (haven"t worked as such since 1988 as Swedish qualifications are not accepted over here!) but my husband hasn"t got anything yet. But I don"t think it will be much of a problem as he"s in IT. Did you feel terribly responsible for your family"s happiness after moving? I have a feeling I will be, it"s not that my husband is against it but I"m definitely the initiative taker - I just know I have to go home and raise my children in Sweden because I don"t think the UK is very child friendly. Coming from a small town with beautiful, acessible nature around the corner I"ll never get used to this country with litter everywhere, no cycling paths, fear of letting your children out of your sight etc. The list goes on and on. Hopefully we"ll go this summer when school finishes! Thanks in advance, Leena |
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| Svar på tråden: Moving back to Sweden - help! | |
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We moved "back"... |
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| Skrivet av anette | |
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After living in England for nine years, and having had two children, I felt exactly the same; it would be nicer in Sweden for the children with all the advantages of government subsidiced child care, better schools (later starts!) and a general slower pace of life... And when my husband was offered a job with my dad it seemed possible to go! We looked in to all sorts of removal (I can"t quite remember prices, but I don"t think it was too bad. We found companies that would come and help us pack, take it all the way over, and then unpack at the next adress, from the Yellow pages), but in the end we decided to sell as mush as we possibly could and just bring back absolute essentials. My dad drove over with a trailer and then we came back on the boat to Malmö and that cost roughly £450 for all of us, tickets, trailer rental etc. And then we were fortunate enough to be able to stay with my parents until we were able to buy our own house. As for your car, it"s difficult, but I would probably sell it in England (unless you want to drive over like we did) and by a cheap one, to start of with, over here.) I was a bit worried about how my husband would cope, with the language, with out his mates, but it"s been alright. It"s taken a bit of time to get into the swing of things, but ones we had our own place it was much better. He"s managed to find three other english guys he"s now seeing on a regular basis, and some of my swedish friend"s various partners. (Not that you got that much spare time with small children!) He started of on a swedish course you get through the government, it wasn"t very good, but there was other better ones through ABF for example. And just being in the country, you pick up things all the time and people over here seem to really like practising their english... I also think it would be easy for your husband to find a job in IT as they seem a plenty, and if the language were to be a problem, there"s plenty of jobs, where you don"t need to speak swedish. It would probably be important for him to get a job, so he can have a "life" of his own and not be completely dependant on you and stuck in a house or flat all day, seeing so much is going to depend on you anyway to start of with, all the organizing of everything great and small. I do think the kids will be absolutely fine, finding new friends, and getting in to the new language. Gosh, this is a long reply, but all in all, this is great! Now when we"re properly settled (a year and a half later, in a lovely little village, lovely nursery, children happy, nice neighbours and digital tele with BBC Prime) it couldn"t be better! All though I love England and english people especially, it feels so good to be over here, higher standards of living, not so many people (not so much crime) and probably a better start for the children. Just remember, if you do decide to go, that it takes a bit of time to get settled and build up a "new" life... Please, let me know how you get on! |
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Thanks!!! |
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| Skrivet av Leena i England | |
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Hello Anette! Lovely to hear there"s somebody else who thinks this isn"t the best of places to bring children up. I was quite happy until they were born, then I realised how much I would have liked to have my family around - it"s scary enough having a baby, never mind without any of your "own people" around that you can drop in on whenever you need some encouragement and support. My mother in law never breastfed her children for example and although she never said anything, I felt she thought a bottle would have been better (then you know how much they"ve had!). I felt quite isolated being on maternity leave, most of my social life revolved around work and going to playgroups, drinking disgusting coffee and talking about nappies and the latest happenings in Corrie, soon lost its glamour. I"ve just been made redundant for the second time and it must be a sign that we should get up and go, don"t you think? I realise it"s going to be a lot of hard work and take time to settle in, so I must be patient (which I"m not!) and try to bash into my thick head that you can"t do everything in one go. I"m so fed up here, like it less for every day. You can"t trust repair men to turn up on time, if at all! You get ripped off, must have the latest car, latest Barbie or whatever! You can"t go out to pick blueberries and mushrooms in the summer, or pick the first spring flowers in the woods. Well, maybe you can but nobody I know ever does it. As you say, the pace of life is slower in Sweden. Here, I think, people just rush around and don"t stop to enjoy the simple things in life. There"s little respect for nature, when you"ve finished your Coke you just fling the can away! And the number of children that pass my kitchen window in the morning, with their hand stuck in a bag of crisps - probably all they have for breakfast. Sorry to ramble on, of course there are good things about the UK as well, it"s just that none come to mind at this moment! We"ll probably get a removal company as we"ve got quite a bit of stuff. And take the car over, must try to contact some "myndighet" in Sweden to find out if it"s possible to keep the car there. I"ve enrolled Anna (5) in "forskoleklass" and have to apply for "dagis" for William (2 in March). How old are your children? It"s really sad but I find it easier to write in English. Did you feel the same? I don"t know where in the UK you lived, we are in Corby in Northants. Quite a rough place and really ugly as it was a "new town" in the 50"s and 60"s (lots of Scots and Irish people moved in to work in the steel works), so the town centre and all public buildings are from that time (grey concrete). (Oh, beautiful Eksjo!) Also droves of teenage single mums, fag in hand and a little child in a buggy with coke in the bottle (or tea). Ahhhhhggg!!! Enough for know, time to get Anna from school. Leena |
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Oh, it"s funny.... |
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| Skrivet av anette | |
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It"s all coming back to me now, the culture of crisps and coke! I felt exactly the same as you, I was fine until the children came along and then, that gives everything a new perspectiv. And bottle feeding, was that all about? I was really surprised, I remember, when the midwife asked me if I had decided what to do...! And some of my friends who had children roughly at the same time were bottle feeding, and their children didn"t look half as healthy as mine, all pale and pasty looking! And I also felt I wanted my kids, Maja, three years old and Oscar, eighteen months old, to be close to my family over here. In England (we lived just outside Cambridge wich is a lovely place) I also went to different playgroups but still felt very lonely, but here for some reason, it might be a local thing, it"s so easy to get in contact with other parents and meet up with the sole purpose of letting the kids dispose of some energy. I also for a very short time had a child minder in England and it was not a good experience and an expencive one! Now my kids are with a "dagmamma" here, and it"s wonderful! It"s all so lovely over here and my husband said he"s never been so happy, wich was our main worry. I think the higher standard of living, and all that comes with it, really surprised him. (I sound like I don"t like England at, all but I really do!) Yes and no, I don"t mind wrighting in English, I prefer it, just to keep it up, really. My husband and I speak nothing but English in the home, for obvious reasons but also for the kids sake, so they get an equal proportion of both languages. It sounds to me like it"s a good opportunity to move country if you have just been made redundant and been offered a job over here. Remember, life is an adventure, and if two such disorganized people, like myself and my dear husband, could do it I think anyone can... All best Friday wishes, [email protected] |
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It is funny! |
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| Skrivet av Kajsa | |
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I only lived in the UK for ten months but I really understand your feelings. My common-law comes from Liverpool, which is where we stayed and when I became pregnant I just knew I couldn"t stay! We"ve lived in Gothenburg for nearly three years and it"s been both up and downs, especially for him being unemployed for a long period of time. The only thing that makes me sad over here is how little people in general appreciate what you"ve both described is so special about Sweden. Even worse is the fact that we, at least in Gothenburg, go towards a rougher society reminding me about Liverpool... Well, well, let us know how you get on! |
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Car to Sweden |
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| Skrivet av Helena | |
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Well, I actually dragged my husband over before the baby was born and Ive got the same feelings about England as you and Anette. I just dont want my kids to grow up there. Now Ive got the problem that we might have to move back. My husband dont seem to be able to find a job (he`s in printing)mainly because of the language. But we are hoping something will come up. Regarding your car. If its a model that exists in Sweden then you dont have a problem at all. You just contact Vägverket and bilprovningen in Sweden. But it is a costly story. I would recommend that you sell it in England and buy a lefthand drive there because the cardealers in England sell lefthand cars cheap. And see if youre able to sort out extra lights ("insatser") in England in case its cheaper. Remember the headlights go the "wrong" way here and blind other drivers. Its a lot to think of when you bring the car but if the car is worth it then go ahead and bring it. I dont know if this helped a lot. Anyway, you can drive it for three months before you have it reregistered in Sweden so there is no need to panic. That gives you the time you need to sort all the papers out. Good luck |
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