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question to english swedish mix couples |
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| Skrivet av | EDA |
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I am Swedish and I'm married to an english man. After a few years I am getting more and more angry about a few things, before I talk to him any more about this I'd like to ask you... My husband often calls me names, some of the things he can say is fat cow, lazy cow, pig and so on... I had enough a long time ago and said so, he just keeps going. Is this something that I've missed in the english culture or is he just being an a.....e? by the way - this is just one out of a million things...but I stop here. I'd appreciate if anyone out there has some experiences to share with english/swedish mix, maybe you have had some of our experiences or maybe we were just not meant to be |
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| Svar på tråden: question to english swedish mix couples | |
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Here's some thoughts... |
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| Skrivet av Marie | |
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Hi, hope I can be of some assistance. I've been with my man now for four and a half years and we also have a small son together. I'm Swedish and he's English. As for you question... I don't think there's anything you've missed about the English culture, and I don't see name-calling as a part of the British culture. But - maybe he's just stuck in his ways? It might have started off a joke in the beginning of your relaionship, and kept going. So now you're fed up and he thinks nothing of it. I don't know - this is not an attempt to defend him, by the way - I'm just trying to find reasons for his behaviour. My bloke could say quite hurtful things to me (jokingly) after I'd given birth to our son, but I told him I didn't find it amusing at all and after a while he stopped. I think you should tell him off good and proper and tell him if he doesn't stop you'll leave. I mean, how would he feel if you started calling him hurtful things like- oh, I don't know- "little willie", "mr. floppy" or something similar? ( And yes, I know my imagination is crap!) Take care and good luck. Do tell us how it went! |
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Sorry, should be "here are some thoughts" |
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| Skrivet av Marie | |
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hmmm, well the english humor is |
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| Skrivet av daisy in London | |
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known for it's sarcasm and sharp edge, but ..... i don't know, it dependens on your relationship i suppose, did it start of with a lot of banter and witty comments then maybe, as Marie says, he's stuck in his ways and you need to explain to him how hurtful this can be. me and my boyfriend can be quite "rude" to each other, and always have been, we have names and we're joking about each others faults (he's "boring and conservative", I'm "lazy and a terrible cook") but that's a mutual understanding between us and we know where the line's been drawn and would never overstep it to call each other things that would hurt. good luck, hope you can sort it out! |
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hehe, you lazy woman....... get over here...... |
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| Skrivet av Åsa N | |
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we miss you darling =) I thought you were coming over here soon? miss you love to your family åsa, tilde mfl |
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hahaha - you superduper lazy woman! |
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| Skrivet av daisy i London | |
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didn\'t know you\'re here!? will be back on thursday (12th) so speak to you then, \\love from all of us! |
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He's an arsehole! |
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| Skrivet av Maria | |
| Excuse my french! No Englishman, with any respect for his wife/girlfriend/woman would call her names lika that! Don't put up with it. This is not humour, it is insults! | |
Cavemen... |
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| Skrivet av Kerstin, married to an englishman who is a gentleman | |
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They come in all sizes, shapes and origins.. Not typical for any man to be insultive to his woman, and thats that. If a man is insultive and hurting your feelings it doesn´t matter if he is Swedish, American, Chinese or English, does it? Sit down and have a talk with him, and tell him this has to stop or you will consider leaving him. Tell him that you don\'t accept his namecalling and if he really think you are fat and should loose weight, you could easily dump about 80 kilos right away, just by leaving him! Hows that for a diet? You would feel much lighter and maybe like 18 again!! You go girl, don\'t accept namecalling and if he\'s not capable of changing his ways, don\'t waste your life away. You are worth better than this. |
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thanks all |
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| Skrivet av EDA | |
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for your answers I have told him once that I think we should go separate ways since I can\'t believe he loves me when he says things like that. Helped for a while. Honestly I do not think I will leave him for it anymore - there are kids now and of course they are more important. But it makes me so angry.... |
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Well in that case... |
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| Skrivet av Tamara | |
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Look , I agree w/ you. Leaving might not be the answer. But think of it this way. If he continues calling you names, and doing so in front of the kids, then They are going to think it\'s OK to insult mommy. Do you really want to deal w/ that problem later on? You need to deal w/ this issue. It\'s just not normal. |
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HEEELLLL NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! |
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| Skrivet av Tamara | |
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That is completely unaceptable... I am swedish, married to an american and there is no way I would let him talk to me in that manner. Maybe he thinks it\'a a joke, or maybe he started it to se if you would let him. Who knows, and really it doesn\'t matter. When you told him not to, how did he react? I know how it can be sometimes...you don\'t want to get upset so for the sake of peace in your home you avoid starting a conflict, But in this case it\'s a question of self-respect. If you\'re not showing yourself the respect to tell him to go piss off, then he\'s obvously not going to stop. Remember: people only go as far as you let them. Maybe what he needs is for you to get MAD. |
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Jag hoppas du skämtar... |
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| Skrivet av Olina | |
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Det spelar väl ingen roll vart han kommer ifrån så har han ju ingen rätt att kalla dig namn! Det spelar väl ingen roll om dom andra karlarna gör det "hemma i england"...Det ger väl inte honom rätten! Näe....sätt gränsen och håll honom hårt! |
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